Through the duration of 2018, I endured love, loss, happiness, anger, you know, all the human emotions: but amplified. All emotions and experiences, intensified. It’s twenty minutes past midnight, New Year’s Day, 2019 and I was hit with a strong realization; I came into this year with absolutely no expectations. No resolutions. However, I entered 2019 happy and present. I’m content; although I do want more from myself, from my life, I will not expect. Expectations lead to potential letdowns. I’m not being negative, but more so realistic and giving myself the chance to accept things that I may not control. As for the things I’m able to control, I do want to make them great. I want to love more passionately and learn to breathe when faced with an unexpected loss. I want to be successful in all trials and tribulations. I want to enjoy moments of silence and embrace the loudness of the world. I want to appreciate the times I cry and feel and smile and laugh; I want to live in those moments and learn from them. I want to give my undivided attention to flowers, trees, and roads that lead to unknown places. I want to fall into myself deeply, doing the things that give me peace and serenity and following dreams that always frightened me. I want to climb and fall and travel to places that inspire my soul. I want to be calm in my rages, I want to lay on my favorite heartbeat and visit the beach often. I want to feel the water on my skin and the snow on my nose. I want to find myself where I had lost myself, and teach myself things I always knew. I want to remain the same, but become better.
Happy New Year!
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